It has taken me months to come to terms with this decision. Honestly an every day discussion in my head about what my fitness goals are. Do I want to run more, build muscle, do races, do yoga, etc. I seriously could not decide.
But today I had a bit of an epiphany, I'm not sure what finally brought me to my conclusion but the relief of finally deciding where I'm headed with fitness in my life was immense.
I've always believed that fitness should ENHANCE your life. But for me it was becoming my life. All I thought about, planned for and made time for. I know that exercise is so important for my mental and physical health in a myriad of ways but making the "right" decision was consuming me and I was starting to not enjoy working out, or feeling like I wasn't doing "enough" or the right workout.
So I've cancelled my training for that fall half marathon. I know that I can make time to train, and that I can physically do it. I just Don't Want To! My heart is not in it whatsoever. My heart is in happy little 5k's that the girls can participate in or at least spectate at. And for me, if my heart isn't in for a 3 month training plan, I'm going to be miserable every single mile.
I've decided that fitness needs to be a part of my daily routine, but it doesn't need to be my one and only hobby or focus. I want to spend time focusing on the other parts of who I am.
So my plan now? The Beta Round of T25 or a run if I feel like it. 5 days a week. No more, no less. And when the workout is done, it's done. NO obsessing about my effort or what I'm doing tomorrow or when I can schedule it in.
And my next goal..find another hobby to occupy my mind! Like reading books or organizing the house. Or organizing pictures. :)
It feels SO GOOD to have let go of the pressure of perfecting the workout plan. Guess that old perfectionist me always tries to find a way to make her presence known.
